december begins

My house smells like smoke right now because I just burnt a pot of beans that I forgot about while I was looking up Spanish Christmas songs on the internet. I'm going to try choreograph a dance for the Aldea girls for their Christmas fiesta on the 22nd hence the internet search. Does anyone know of any good Spanish reggaeton Christmas songs? Yeah I thought not. Looks like it's going to be 'All I want for Christmas.'

Yesterday was our last LIGA for the year and my last LIGA with VE. Another reminder of how soon I am am leaving. I will miss LIGA as I always enjoy meeting all the kids from the other institutions and seeing them having fun, I think it is one of my favourite things we do at VE Global.

At the end of the day I hit a bit of a downer though. On the way back I asked one of the girls if  'L' one of the girls I am especially close to in the hogar was in. She has started leaving the hogar before we arrive in the afternoon because of her cooking course so I don't see her anymore. They said she was so instead of leaving the girls inside the gate as we usually do I went in to find her. She was around so I asked her to come for a walk with me. We talked and she told me that she's probably getting kicked out of the hogar because she didn't come back last night.
It was only the night before when I was speaking to another volunteer at VE that I made the connection between 'L' and a girl she had written about in her blog, they are the same girl. She lost both her parents when she was 13 then spent a couple of years living on the streets until she came to Aldea. This is the same girl that I may have told a few of you about who asked me to teach her English. I spent time teaching her a few basics things which she had difficulty learning. When I mentioned the classes to another volunteer she told me that this girl had spent time previously learning English with other volunteers, I couldn't even tell. 'L' said to this volunteer that she has problems retaining what she learns after all the drugs she has done. It makes me so sad. This girl is so kind and warm. She loves Gerald from 'My chemical romance' and the Twilight series. She writes me a letter on a picture of Edward Cullen who she knows I think is cute. She shows me recipes she collects from magazines for her work and lets me copy one down to try. She laughs and sighs  'ohhhhh Tia!' when I don't understand her, but then tries again to explain what she wants to say to me. I can see the other girls in the hogar look up to her and go to her when they are sad.

Why does it have to be like this? I believe in the power and responsibility in making your own choices to create the life you want, but sometimes it feels like some people just begin with a shitty set of circumstances that makes it harder than the average person to have to overcome. What happens to this girl if she does get kicked out? Where does she go? Up until now she was allowed to stay in the home even though she is 18 because she is studying, but now her future is uncertain. Who looks out for her? In my life if things fall through, I always have my family to fall back on. What does this girl have? I don't like thinking about what will happen if she has to leave. I ask her why she didn't come back? Was she was drunk or high? She said no, she just didn't come back. She says she has to find work at the end of the year anyway because her course finishes. She will maybe try find some friends she can move in with. Again I curse my Spanish because she's telling me a million things but I can only pick out the basics. Today she will meet with the director of the hogar and the owner to see what they will decide. She says that if she has to leave it could be tomorrow or in a week she doesn't know. I take her to our sala de arte and give her a almost finished dream catcher I was making for her from a taller we did with the girls and tell her to let me know what happens. I really hope they give her another chance because all too often for some of these girls it seems like they come few and far between.